However, notice that the gaslighter rarely reveals as much intimate information about himself. This is a normal, natural, healthy part of developing a close relationship. Many times, you'll begin a relationship with a gaslighter feeling very safe, so you do what any trusting human in what they think is a healthy relationship would do-you share your intimate thoughts and feelings with the person.
If the friendliness seems forced or phony, beware. As soon as you fulfill their needs, they'll drop their mask of niceness. They will use false flattery to get what they want from you. Gaslighters are also masters at buttering people up. They use blatant attempts to curry favor.
Even if they do give you an apology, if you listen carefully, you'll see that it's really a non-apology (e.g., "I'm sorry I cheated, but if you were a better wife I wouldn't have looked for affection elsewhere"), and they'll usually only give it because you asked for one or because they were forced by a judge or mediator to do so.Ģ. Gaslighters will only apologize if they are trying to get something out of you. He's simply manipulating you into feeling seen by acknowledging your feelings. Gaslighters are masters of the "conditional apology." You know, when someone says, "I'm sorry you feel that way." That's not an apology the other person is not taking responsibility for his behavior. They do apologize-but those apologies are conditional.
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